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All,

<blockquote><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/freemind/4133223157/"
title="????. | self realization. by freebird (bobinson|??????????), on
Flickr"><img
src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2691/4133223157_14cffb8a45_m.jpg"
width="240" height="191" alt="????. | self realization." /></a>
</blockquote>

Few months ago, while I was down with fever which lasted for a week I wrote
what is above which declared I am leaving koottam or rather dissolving it as
it has moved away from what it had originally meant for and become a place for
politics and power games. 

But I apologize for not announcing  the same here in koottam threads and
publishing in only my stream. That was my mistake. Yes, I was shocked to see
the politics and the realization that a non-profit world wide community is not
a possible thing and humans find it difficult to be proactive and they easily
get carried away - often in the wrong direction. But yes, it was a mistake not
to post in the group. Now I realize the mistake and yes this group is much
bigger than few individuals.


I have never played power games in my life or I never tried to lure people
from a group "kerala clicks" or did any such activities. There were instances
I compromised based on personal relationships with a person and thus kept
silent on many wrong decisions. I even had a discussion with Sunil on the
extreme steps to be taken during onakkazcha days because the compromises I was
making was too much and it was actually hurting koottam.


Even though I left koottam didn't leave my heart. It burned my mind every day,
every hour because<b> I had devoted too much into a dream of making a brother
hood which is above money power and where everyone is equal and not
manipulated for commercial purposes or go after trends. I wanted it to be a
friendly place where everyone interacted like a family.</b> And I was true to
my heart always. Looking back I was always true to my heart and I never did
anything unethical or even played politics against individuals or groups or
lied on anything. Its that which gives me the courage to write  this again and
live a life in which I don't have to compromise with my consciousness. 

Can we do that ? No. We can't. That is what I realized. We need power, we need
money, we need people to listen to us, we need attention, we need groups.
That's how humans are. Are we ? I failed miserably because I thought the
otherway around and I learned my lesson that to build an organization you need
lobbying, make phone calls pleasing everyone, you need to convert people ... I
am not in that game. 


well, I came back to write this because of 2 reasons:


1. There is around 150 world class photographs belonging to this group with
me. Every day when I see them sitting them on the floor it hurts me. Those
photos are supposed to be on walls, well maintained an loved. 

It has to reach the owners. Because photographs are like our kids and they are
not supposed to be kept on the floor of a random guy.



2. I am not able to get reply from Deepak (DPK) / Sarun on the remaining funds
of Secrets of photography after repeated reminders.



I think we can use the remaining money from Secrets of Photography & the left
over from Onakkzacha to send the photos back to each one of you. I have
discussed with a local courier and they can give us a deal. I will work on the
directions from koottam, ie this group and send the photos to respective
individuals.

An original copy of this text is avaiable here:
http://freebird.in/koottam/post1.txt


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